Quinquagesima
Let us pray: May the words of my mouth, and the meditations of our hearts, be always acceptable unto Thee, O Lord, our strength and our redeemer. Amen.
From the Epistle: “Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.” (I Cor. 13:1)
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.
“Love” is a very important word, although the way we use it in modern English it has so many different meanings as to make it difficult to know just what is meant.
Surely the love of God, the love of spouse, the love of children, and the love of my cat, and the love of Pizza cannot all mean the same thing.
As the old saying goes, “the Greeks had a word for it.”
In fact, as C. S. Lewis points out in his wonderful little book, “The Four Loves,” they had four words for it.
“The Four Loves” is available in paperback on Amazon, for $10.48, and as a MP3 cd, for $9.99.
By the way, the audio version is, to the best of my knowledge, the only extant recording of C. S. Lewis voice.
I highly recommend it to you.
Reading it would certainly be a fine addition to your Lenten Offering to God.
Lewis identifies four words for “Love” in the Greek.
The first is “storge,” which means the habitual love of the familiar, for instance of children, pets, even a favorite sweater.
We “storgao” persons and things because we are used to being around them and their loss would make us sad.
Interestingly, “storge” does not appear in the Scriptures.
Apparently, humans “storgao” naturally and need no encouragement to do it.
The second love is “philia,” which means the love of equals, brotherly love, (as in Philadelphia), the love between friends.
We “philiao” those we like, whose company we enjoy.
We choose our friends and they choose us.
While there are certainly some mutual responsibilities between friends, such as honesty, mutual aid, and concern for one another’s well-being, those responsibilities are different for every friendship and defined only by the shared expectations of the friends.
Eros, of course, is romantic love.
It is a passionate desire for the other rooted in their perceived qualities, whether physical, intellectual, or moral.
Eros tends to be exclusive, the lover desires his beloved exclusively, and wants reciprocity in that desire.
Eros is often associated with sex, but it can also be found in relationships which never experience any sort of sexual expression.
The fourth love is the most important from a theological perspective.
The fourth love is “agape.”
Simply put, “agape” is divine love, that “Love divine all loves excelling.”
It is that giving love which seeks only the good of the beloved, expecting nothing in return.
Agape begins within the Holy Trinity.
When we say, “God is Love,” we are saying the inner life of the Trinity is love.
If you think about it, were not so, the Trinity simply could not exist.
Three equally omnipotent beings could not co-exist if they were not perfectly united in love.
From this perfect love between the Persons of the Trinity, the love of God for all His creation, and therefore us, proceeds.
However imperfect, our love for God is a response to His love for us.
“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.” (Matthew 22:37)
Of course, we can never love God as He loves us; His love for us giving love; He has everything we need and needs nothing from us.
As the wonderful hymn puts it, “All things are thine; no gift have we, Lord of all gifts, to offer thee; and so with grateful hearts today thine own before thy feet we lay.”
Our love for Him, even at its most sublime, is need love, it is as the love of a small child for its parents; it is rooted in our gratitude for His gifts past and our hopes for gifts to come, especially the greatest gift of eternal life in Christ Jesus.
Our love for our fellow man, at its noblest and best, is a response to His love for us.
“Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.”
We hear these this Summary of the Law every Sunday, except when we have the Decalogue.
Because we know we have neither loved God as we should or our neighbors as ourselves, we respond immediately, “Lord have mercy upon us, Christ have mercy upon us, Lord have mercy upon us.”
This having been said, it is difficult for us to “agapao,” to love with divine Love, because we are finite and imperfect beings.
We don’t just come knowing how to “agapao;” we need to learn what it means.
God was very gracious when He inspired St. Paul to write the Thirteenth chapter of the 1st Epistle to the Corinthians.
This blessed chapter is as complete a description of “agape” as can be found.
It gives us a standard against which to measure our behavior, past or anticipated.
Where we have fallen short of that standard, we can repent and seek forgiveness, both from God and from our fellow man, and hopefully learn from the experience to do better in the future.
When we are contemplating an action, it gives us something to compare what we are thinking of doing with“agape,” thereby saving us from causing much hurt and pain, to ourselves, to our neighbors, and to the heart of God.
Right in the heart of this Chapter, this standard is set forth succinctly and beautifully.
“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.” I Cor. 13 (4-7)
That passage, First Corinthians 13: 4-7 is well worth committing to memory, it will come in handy to have it in your mind at a moment’s recall.
Baring that, simply copying it down on an index card and carrying that card with you is almost as good.
It is like a check list.
Does what I am thinking of doing reflect long-suffering, or am I lashing out at a momentary slight or stupidity?
Is it kind?
Does it proceed from envy?
Am I doing this to make myself look good or feel good about myself, or am I doing it from true love?
And so forth.
In closing, I want to leave you with two thoughts.
First, if we really sit down and pray through this passage, we will begin to see not only does it show us how we ought to love others, it is a perfect description of how God loves us.
He is most assuredly long-suffering and kind, and all the rest.
The second thought is we learn by doing.
We can only learn to “agapao” by loving with “agape” love, giving love, love which is solely a response to the need of the other and expects nothing for itself in return.
When we “agapao,” we are loving as God loves, and in so doing we gradually acquire some measure of the divine character, that character which equips us to enjoy Heaven.
I close with that wonderful prayer of Saint Francis, which sums up all that I have been trying to say, far better than I.
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying
that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.